The reason why I’m talking to you about the colour pink is because to me pink is not just a colour. Pink is a way in which some people think – I’ve noticed that there are some young people that I work with in Hemel Hempstead (I’m going to say mostly girls not explicitly a hundred per cent) who have an attitude that I like to call ‘pink’ now. Pink entails ‘thinking that when something happens, you can’t solve it yourself, someone else needs to solve it for you’. If you’re pink, you also feel very sorry for yourself. If you’re pink and the only thing that’s going to make you feel better is to have lots of lovely snuggles and love and there is only good and bad in the world. If you’re pink, there is nothing in the middle – there are baddies and there are goodies. Even though you’re very pink in how you think, you also think quite black and white, it’s either one thing or another. There are no shades of grey in between.

The main reason why I think it’s a bit of a problem for some people is it makes you the opposite of powerful. It makes you seem weak and it makes you seem very vulnerable and that you’re at risk of being a victim. People are going to bully you and they’re all going to come after you. To stop being someone who is constantly getting picked on and who is always getting chased by the baddies when you’re a goodie whether those are real-life people or just demons in your mind the good news is that you can change it and you don’t have to do an awful lot of work to get there. It’s really about making quite a bold decision and saying to yourself ‘I’m not putting up with that anymore, I don’t want to feel like you know everything is out to get me and that I can’t help myself’.

Here are some key things that I’ve written down that I think are important in overcoming pink thoughts. It’s about focusing on how strong you are and how strong you are without people aiding you. 

You can be bold, you can speak up, you can use your voice and you can say what you want to say. You can say what you think, you can express how you’re feeling and you don’t just need to go with the flow to please other people and you don’t need to you know go along with a bad idea because you’re too scared to speak up. You can be bold, you can go against the trend and you can do the opposite of what other people are saying and doing. 

You can disagree with anything that anybody else says or does and you can feel sure of yourself and solid in your opinions and your ideas about doing that and you can feel proud of yourself as you come away from those sorts of interactions, knowing that you know what you stand on your own two feet you don’t need anyone to swoop in and save you.

You’re the kind of person who other people think ‘Well I wish I could be a bit more like them’.

You’re the kind of person that other people look up to because they can see that you’ve got a good kind character as many pink thinkers do, that you care about things – you care about yourself, you care about how you show up in the world but you’re not a mug, you know, you’re not just going to be taken for a fool. You’re not going to be bossed around blindly. You’re not just going to follow what other people say and do.

Whilst there are some positive aspects to thinking ‘pink’ and having that sort of warm, fuzzy and cute exterior you need to put the power that’s inside of you as like point and focus for where your attention goes, this is the muscle that we want to be building up is so that you become a strong, empowered, independent individual and then what’s cool about that is there’ll be people that show up in your life who try and cross the line who try and push the boundary because they see you and go she’s a bit pink or he’s a bit pink – I can manipulate this person or I can bully this person to do what I want them to do. They might get tricked into thinking that they can get away with treating you that way but then your reaction and how you handle those situations is going to be different to how you may have handled it previously – you are now stronger and bolder! 

By Gemma Bailey
www.childtherapisthertfordshire.nlp4kids.org