I’m going to be sharing with you how to get what you want! In the pursuit of getting what you want, it needs to fall within the rules of ecology. This means that, first of all, what you want needs to be good for you. Secondly, it needs to be good for others and thirdly it needs to fit in with the greater good of the rest of the world. Assuming that what you want is good with the rest of the planet and the people in it then let’s talk about how you go about getting more of what you want. Let’s talk about how to do that….

There’s always going to be some sort of process involved it’s not like a snap of your fingers and there you go you’ve got what you want, there is always going to be a process. If we’re here in the process at the very beginning we need to start by thinking about what it is that we want to achieve at the very end. You must start with your outcome in mind and you need to get really very clear on what that looks like if you start just with what you’re doing right now or the very next step that you’re going to take then you can end up going off track very easily. 

If there is a way that you can measure your outcome and have that in mind for where it is that you’re aiming for then that’s going to work really well. For example, you might want to say I want ‘X amount’ in a test result or I want to have ‘X amount’ of friends made at the party. If we have an outcome in mind, it makes it far easier for us to focus on it and start working towards it. 

The next step is going to be to make a ‘plan’ about how it is that we get there, this is where we can start to break things down into a step-by-step plan. We’re going to take our big goal and turn it into lots of little goals – you got to be realistic in the little goals in what we need to do if it’s within our skill set and how long it’s going to take us to get there. The very first thing that we need to do is to instigate the whole production taking place. You need to prepare to be in a lot of hard work and you need to be committed to completing each little goal in order to make it to the final big goal, the outcome. 

We’ve already mentioned that there may be other people that are involved in this or who are going to benefit from the outcome of what this thing does for you and how it’s important not to over-promise to other people, particularly if, you’re not prepared to put in the hard work that’s going to be required to achieve it. For example, if you tell your art teacher that you are going to get this project done and that this is going to be the most fantastic thing she’s ever seen in her entire life and then you realise that actually there’s quite a bit of work here and I’m not entirely sure that I really want to put in that much effort then you need to go back and revise that promise that you have made because we already know you’re maybe not going to be able to stick with it and keep it so we’re just going to make sure that we’re being realistic with ourselves but also that we’re not misleading other people either. 

If you honestly think that other people are going to be responsible for getting what you need for you that’s not how it works around here. This is how it works, there are going to be certain provisions that are available to you in life, and there is plenty they’re available from a resource perspective that you can reach out and use but you need to do the reaching out and then you need to do the productive side of using those resources but you get nothing for free here, this is life. You’re always going to have to invest something of yourself and this is where your responsibility comes in because if you think that any of those things are just going to land in your lap then you are wrong my friends what we need to be doing instead is thinking but the question is ‘how can I make this happen? how can I do this in the most productive way? how can I ensure that I get to my outcome even though I’m going at this a hundred percent on my own? how can I make sure that I still feel supportive? 

The ‘how’ questions are really important here and it helps us to take back the reins of responsibility. This is how we make it happen when we have an outcome in mind. Therefore, start with the end in mind then create a plan know what your first step is and take it. It will be hard work and you will need to take full responsibility for the outcome. If you are very lucky you might just get what you want!

By Gemma Bailey
www.childtherapisthertfordshire.nlp4kids.org