Sometimes when we go through the process of growing up or any other kind of change in our lives, it can really cause us to question if we are being the person that we’re meant to be. Throughout life, there are going to be several opportunities for you to evolve and become someone brand spanking new person and that’s good news because it means that when you reach a point where you’re not too sure if you fit who you are any more there is that opportunity for you to change that and to change who you are and how you show up to others and how you show up in any situation. 

Here’s a little exercise that might help you to carve out in your own mind ‘who it is that you are at your core’ not just how you look and how you show up in front of others. I want you to imagine that you wake up tomorrow morning and this isn’t going to happen by the way but we need to imagine just for a moment that you wake up tomorrow morning and everyone is gone. Everyone on the face of the planet has gone completely. Before we even think about the emotional ramifications of that, what I want you to consider instead is the stuff that you’d be able to get access to I mean just think about it, if you woke up and there was nobody here you would have access to absolutely everything!

If that were the case, what would you choose to wear because now you can go to any shop and have any clothes you like, if this were the case how would you choose to style your hair because there’s no one judging you around this anymore? There’s no one even here to see what jewellery would you be wearing, what activities would you choose to do if no one was watching and you’ve got access to absolutely everything –  think about that for a minute now. 

I also want you to consider this after a period of time would that stuff mean anything to you anymore? If for example, you decided that, you know what, I’ve always really wanted this Louie Vuitton jacket and then you go and get it because you can and then you wear it who actually cares? There’s no one to impress anymore, there’s no one to look good for anymore – would all these things still carry the same level of significance to you?

The chances are that the activities you do would still give you some sense of satisfaction so if you’d thought you know what I’m going to take up rollerblading I’ve always wanted to do it, if there was no one on the planet to laugh at me then I could just go get me some rollerblades and I could you know practice to my heart’s content maybe that would still bring about a sense of joy and satisfaction because of the physical activity itself releasing endorphins in your body but the physical stuff maybe that would reach a point where that stuff wouldn’t be so pleasing to you anymore because what’s the point in having it and you might even reach a point where you decide to downgrade from the castle that you’ve stolen and just live in a cute little cottage instead because there’s a bit less cleaning to do.

Here’s my point if you are not too sure who you are right now or who it is that you’re supposed to be have a think about what your options are but what you’ll probably come to the conclusion with is that keeping it simple is very often all that’s required. When you keep it simple you take yourself closer to who it is that you really are now there are going to be little fluttery glittery beautiful things that catch our eye from time to time in life different directions that we want to move in people that we admire that start to influence us always happen but if you know who you are at your core what drives you what makes you feel good and if you can have the kind of confidence to do what you want to do wear what you want to wear be where you want to be in spite of other people being around you then that’s when you will feel most true to yourself.

By Gemma Bailey
www.childtherapisthertfordshire.nlp4kids.org